I will write base on experience and base on the the explanation of my psychiatrist on the definition of domestic abuse. Every victim have different traumatic effect but the behavior of an abuser is all the same.
I am writing this for all woman and children that they may never be victim of abuse and for all victims out there that still in their abusive relationship. May this blog save a life and teach woman to stand up from the abusers.
Let us start in defining what is domestic abuse?
Pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.
Why do the abuser do this it is because they want control and power over their victims.
An abuse can be from small act that will leave you humiliated to brutal act that can case your life. You must know the signs of an abuser before its too late.
One this all of us victims of domestic abuse can agree on is that living with a man who hurt us in so many ways is exhausting and we start isolating ourselves from our family, friends and the world.
Let us now talk about the different types of abuse.
PHYSICAL ABUSE
The image you is from a brutal abuse some are lucky to be still alive when this stage of physical abuse.
This is an act that a person intentionally do to harm, unsure, disable or even kill. This could involve with their bare hands or with a weapon.
The very first stage is then the person starts grabbing you with force with the intent to hurt you.
Base in my experience my ex-bf punch me in the face then after that he punch my foot none stop while he was doing it he said "so you won't be able to walk and go anywhere and tell anyone"
Physical abuse can be in many forms from BURNING, CHOKING, BITING, GRABBING, PUNCHING, PUSHING, THROWING.
SEXUAL ABUSE
Sexual abuse is not just forcing someone to have sex with them but this is also having sex with someone who is unable to refuse because of intimidation, illness, intoxication on alcohol or drugs and disability.
Attempting, touching the private parts and/or having sex with someone who does not understand the nature of the act or unable to decline participation or is unable to communicate their unwillingness.
When the father of your child start saying I can touch her there is no malice about it. You better pack your bags and be as far as you can be with that monster. ANY MAN WHO ABUSES A CHILD IS A MONSTER.
VERBAL ABUSE
This is the most common abuse that happen inside the house from parents to their kids, spouses, partners to siblings. This also happens in school or in your work place.
Verbal abuse in an act that do not need direct physical contact it is all words. But this words can cut the victim like a sharp knife and can be as painful as getting shut in the head and can be as deadly as an atomic bomb that went off.
The sign of verbal abuse is the following;
1. Being called names negative words like "whore, stupid, useless, moron, slut, ugly etc"
If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
2. Using words to shame you purposely in front of people or in private is also a form of abuse. This are like insults, sarcastic and mocking words.
3. Yelling, screaming, swearing and threats to intimidate this is pretty much common in relationship with some people when they are frustrated with each other and it only becomes an abuse when you are already in a thin ice scared to brake it because the ice will break you're going to sink. `This is same when you live with someone who goes ballistic with little things and you are so scared to tell how you feel or how they make you feel or what they've done because you know he/she will go crazy and start yelling, cursing and not listen and accept the problem.
3. Blaming you for everything and refuse to discuss the issue that upset you and they avoid discussion of any topic where they might have to take responsibility for their actions or words is also a form of verbal abuse.
4. Manipulating your actions
ECONOMICAL ABUSE
This is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner's access to economic resources, which diminishes the victim's capacity to support him/herself and forces him/her to depend on the perpetrator financially.
It is related, or also known as, financial abuse, which is the illegal or unauthorized use of a person’s property, money, pension book or other valuables (including changing the person's will to name the abuser as heir), often fraudulently obtaining power of attorney, followed by deprivation of money or other property, or by eviction from own home. Financial abuse applies to both elder abuse and domestic violence.
"When your husband refuses to support you and your kids. When he make up a million of excuses not to despite his capability to do so."
EMOTIONAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
This two can't be separate because it affect each other dramatically.
it is not healthy to be with someone who kept on abusing you and please don't believe that person who abuses you that they say they love you. Because when a person truly loves you they will NEVER ever going to threat you, hurt you, disrespect you and abuse you.
There is no excuses for a person to abuse your spouse and children so stop making excuses of their action.
STATISTICS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE IS INCREASING EVERY YEAR BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO KNOWS THERE IS AN ABUSE HAPPENING REFUSE TO ACT AND IGNORE THE SITUATION.
1 OUT OF 4 WOMAN & 2 OUT OF 6 CHILDREN SUFFERS FROM DOMESTIC ABUSE.
DOMESTIC ABUSE ALSO HAPPEN TO MALES 1 OUT OF 3 VICTIMS ARE MALE.
IT WILL TAKE 9 OUT OF 10 INCIDENT OF ABUSE BEFORE ANY WOMAN TO LEAVE THEIR ABUSER
OVER 90% OF ABUSE IS IN THE PRESENCE OR HEARING OF THE CHILD.
EVERYDAY AROUND THE WORLD THERE IS ONE WOMAN OR CHILD DIED BECAUSE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.
EVERY 17 DAYS A MAN IS KILLED BY THEIR PARTNER OR EX PARTNER.
To stop abuse one must act against the abuser, one must stand up against them and the government must be very strict in making the police capturing the abuser and the judiciary must put them in jail.
In the Philippines criminals who have money walk freely because they can bribe the either the police or the judiciary or kill their victims so no case will be against them because our country doesn't to the PEOPLE OF THE PHILIPPINES VS THE CRIMINAL.
AS MUCH AS MANY POLITICIAN WILL DENY THIS FACT 95% OF THE SOCIETY WILL AGREE WITH MY STATEMENT.
IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE IN THE WAY THEY JUSTICE SYSTEM IS. EVERYONE SHOULD BE AWAKE AND FIGHT AGAINST CRIMES, AGAINST THIS ABUSERS.
